Wednesday, July 14, 2010
thoughts and shit
i had to go to therapy yesterday for my depression, my mom was in the room and i told the therapist how i truely felt about everything that's been going on in my life and how i dislike my parents. my mother was crying, i felt a little guilty but at least she knows the truth. i'm going next tuesday. my sisters think i'm going to the doctor's to check up on my turberculosis.
camp is exhuasting but fun(: i have fun. i'm glad eric and i are friends again. the only thing about him is that he looks exactly like my ex that broke me and brought me into this stupid depression. i think eric likes me back. i've liked him since i was in hawks, him and i have no trouble talking and stuff and nothing is awkward between the two of us.
dan: although he probably will read and find this, i'm going to be honest. i don't want to be his girlfriend, i thought i did but everything is awkward with him and he hates PDA and it gets annoying. i have to ask him for the hugs ( i love his hugs ) or he'll just walk away. he kind of weirds me out, but i'm glad he is able to make me smile so easily, i forget that i'm sad when i'm around him until he brings it up. i want to stay married with him but whenever him and i try to go out, he ruins it....he says it won't work and breaks up with me, that's why i'm so cautious around him. if he does ask me out i might say yes...but i'm not quite sure what i'll do in the position of being dan's gf. it won't last, him and i haven't even made it to a two week relationship so it won't be so hard...i'm being honest, not a bitch.
NEON TREES<3
camp is exhuasting but fun(: i have fun. i'm glad eric and i are friends again. the only thing about him is that he looks exactly like my ex that broke me and brought me into this stupid depression. i think eric likes me back. i've liked him since i was in hawks, him and i have no trouble talking and stuff and nothing is awkward between the two of us.
dan: although he probably will read and find this, i'm going to be honest. i don't want to be his girlfriend, i thought i did but everything is awkward with him and he hates PDA and it gets annoying. i have to ask him for the hugs ( i love his hugs ) or he'll just walk away. he kind of weirds me out, but i'm glad he is able to make me smile so easily, i forget that i'm sad when i'm around him until he brings it up. i want to stay married with him but whenever him and i try to go out, he ruins it....he says it won't work and breaks up with me, that's why i'm so cautious around him. if he does ask me out i might say yes...but i'm not quite sure what i'll do in the position of being dan's gf. it won't last, him and i haven't even made it to a two week relationship so it won't be so hard...i'm being honest, not a bitch.
NEON TREES<3
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