howdy followers (:
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Where's the most embarrassing place your cell phone has ever gone off?
on vibrate... in my boyfriend's anus.... in the middle of jail... yeah....we thought it was a good hiding spot for it.... but.... we got caught... oooppss....
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Your thoughts on Corrine lachapell? You guys friends? I hear she's a huge sluuut.
we're cool. don't call her that, that's mean
Monday, February 14, 2011
Top 3 most creepy people.
YOU
CREEPY MEN ON MALL BENCHES THAT STARE AT BOYS
CHIMNEY SWEEPS AND PLUMBERS ARE A TIE
Sunday, February 13, 2011
when was your last kiss?
last weekend. i'm grounded this weekend, so i couldn't see anybody worth kissing
Thursday, February 10, 2011
do you think your rents will approve of our plans for saturday?
yeah, mom already said yes, we just have to see what dad says d:
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
lol that creepy question? lmao
i haven't asked you any questions... ohhh!!! do you mean the one i "smiled" at?! no, i didn't ask that, but i thought it was quite weird. hahaa
lmao hell yah. that was like the funnest day everr.!good times lol, & glade i am responisble for some ones made day'. lol ^-^
hahaha it was a damn good day, dawggg hahaha (x
haha maby some other time then Xp.! so whats new at captan daddies house?
lol uhmmmm nothing? hahahaha captain daddie, not going to lie; you just made my day (x
lol thats good.! haven't heard from you in awhile lol.! call me some time stranger and np.!
i don't have my phone right now /: and i don't have your number haha. sowwwyyyyyy >.<
hay tanya, question? HOWS IT GOING.!lol i like your picture
heyy justin! it's going alright.. thanksss!!! <3
whenever i'm in a car, all i think is: "i want to die." i never buckle my seatbelt if i'm in the back, or i buckle it very loosely. i'm always hoping that someone will slam into us on my side, and i'll be the only one killed while everyone else can walk away with minor cuts and bruises. i need a way to die that isn't obviously suicide. i can't disappoint people by doing that. so, a car crash is easy, it's tragic, but so easy. people die in them everyday, why not me?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
i say we party. and i mean paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty
yeaahhhhh, parrttayyyyyy harrddddyyyyyyyy xD 'til we fall on the floor in a drunken mess (x
what is the first thing youd do if u had someone unbelievably attractive lik beyoncee or shakira iall alone n a locked room with you with all types of sex toys and tools around the room ?
i personally don't find either of them attractive in the slightest. so i wouldn't do anything but stand there with my awkward giraffe
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
NEW URL
hey everyone,
i'm changing the url to this blog.
if you want to know what it is; please email me at
mailto:omgitztanya@aol.com
to get it. don't spam me, please.
thank you, and i'll see you at my new page.
much love,
tanya
i'm changing the url to this blog.
if you want to know what it is; please email me at
mailto:omgitztanya@aol.com
to get it. don't spam me, please.
thank you, and i'll see you at my new page.
much love,
tanya
Monday, January 31, 2011
done with HIM
i'm done pyching myself out. yes, him and i are okay. we're only okay. nothing more, nothing less. so what am i doing by fooling myself? i can't just add stress. i think i'm over it. over the fact that i'm done trying to get him to notice me and feel what he said he felt. i'm over seeing him and getting butterflies... sort of... i'm over trying to IM him on my cell and waiting for a reply. i'm done. finished. i can't do this anymore. yes, if he wants me, i'll still want him back, but i'm done with hoping that being okay with him is going to go back to the way it used to be. i'm done looking for him in the hallways. i'm done wishing he'd give me a note like old times. i'm done with it all. we're okay, and that's all we'll ever be until he makes the first move.
Friday, January 28, 2011
i've been having one of the worst days ever; no, i'm not trying to be a whining bitch.
so, yesterday, i hung out with julez right. she's my bestie. we went to the mall. my stomach hasn't been doing to well lately. i can't eat anymore with out something going wrong. it's just gross. i can feel my teeth eroding from all the vomiting. yeah, i'm probably turning you off now. i honestly could care less at this point. my stomach just HURTS really bad. it legit feels like someone's hammering nails into it. this has been going on for a while. since... around christmas? maybe halloween...? i don't know the exact time, obviously. i don't keep notes like that. it's just this intense pain. i've lost 4 pounds. i'm 98 now. people think it's gross when i tell them. i wish i could tell people that i can't eat, and that i'm not anoerexic or bulimic, but i guess a small, dark part of me is [anoerex and bulimic] i want to lose weight. badly. i just kind of want to waste away... into the nothingness that i feel that i am.
we have a new schedule for school because a new semester has started. i don't see any of my friends during it. it sucks. i'm already lonely enough. i'm scared... i know it sounds stupid... but i'm scared to fall deeper into the depression that i can't get myself out of. i have more and more panic attacks. i have more urges to hurt myself. i can't handle little things anymore like talk or smile or laugh without having a sting in my chest-where my heart is... i can't explain it. it's just a sharp pain whenever i try to be myself... or should i say: the person i used to know myself to be. i don't know who i am. i've lost myself somewhere in this downward spiral i'm stuck in. i feel uncomfortable in my own skin. small and vulnerable to even the smallest of things like a kiss on the cheek. it's so strange to be so sensitive to the things i used to be so comfortable with. like showing affection. kelsey hugged me today, and it was hard to hug her back, what am i doing? i just unnattach myself from everyone these days, but i really need them around. i don't know how to talk to people anymore without it ending in an awkward silence. i feel as if people are watching and laughing at me. maybe it would all be easier if i could fall asleep.... forever....
i was supposed to tell you about my day. i woke up 5 minutes before my ride- enough time to get dressed and take my pill. so, i get to school, of course i'm 10 minutes late for first period. i have to get a pass from Student Life. there is a huggeee line, like half way down the hall- long. it was chaos. i look a mess. everyone looking at me like i'm an abomination and don't belong. maybe i don't. none of my friends are in my classes. no one texts me back about lunch or studies they have. my sculpture class has only 5 students. i've been in a slump all day. i bet you're not reading this because you got bored of me. everyone gets bored or tired of me. i'm annoying and easy to hate. i'm going to end this post now.
so, yesterday, i hung out with julez right. she's my bestie. we went to the mall. my stomach hasn't been doing to well lately. i can't eat anymore with out something going wrong. it's just gross. i can feel my teeth eroding from all the vomiting. yeah, i'm probably turning you off now. i honestly could care less at this point. my stomach just HURTS really bad. it legit feels like someone's hammering nails into it. this has been going on for a while. since... around christmas? maybe halloween...? i don't know the exact time, obviously. i don't keep notes like that. it's just this intense pain. i've lost 4 pounds. i'm 98 now. people think it's gross when i tell them. i wish i could tell people that i can't eat, and that i'm not anoerexic or bulimic, but i guess a small, dark part of me is [anoerex and bulimic] i want to lose weight. badly. i just kind of want to waste away... into the nothingness that i feel that i am.
we have a new schedule for school because a new semester has started. i don't see any of my friends during it. it sucks. i'm already lonely enough. i'm scared... i know it sounds stupid... but i'm scared to fall deeper into the depression that i can't get myself out of. i have more and more panic attacks. i have more urges to hurt myself. i can't handle little things anymore like talk or smile or laugh without having a sting in my chest-where my heart is... i can't explain it. it's just a sharp pain whenever i try to be myself... or should i say: the person i used to know myself to be. i don't know who i am. i've lost myself somewhere in this downward spiral i'm stuck in. i feel uncomfortable in my own skin. small and vulnerable to even the smallest of things like a kiss on the cheek. it's so strange to be so sensitive to the things i used to be so comfortable with. like showing affection. kelsey hugged me today, and it was hard to hug her back, what am i doing? i just unnattach myself from everyone these days, but i really need them around. i don't know how to talk to people anymore without it ending in an awkward silence. i feel as if people are watching and laughing at me. maybe it would all be easier if i could fall asleep.... forever....
i was supposed to tell you about my day. i woke up 5 minutes before my ride- enough time to get dressed and take my pill. so, i get to school, of course i'm 10 minutes late for first period. i have to get a pass from Student Life. there is a huggeee line, like half way down the hall- long. it was chaos. i look a mess. everyone looking at me like i'm an abomination and don't belong. maybe i don't. none of my friends are in my classes. no one texts me back about lunch or studies they have. my sculpture class has only 5 students. i've been in a slump all day. i bet you're not reading this because you got bored of me. everyone gets bored or tired of me. i'm annoying and easy to hate. i'm going to end this post now.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
he unfavorited my tweets.... that was like a dagger to the heart... i want to be over him. this is starting to suck. why does he have to do that? he said he was "reminiscing" was he drunk or something? he deleted me on facebook and everything. i hate this, torturing myself with the memories. there weren't even that many. not even compared to nick. nick and i don't talk anymore. i didn't want to get hurt again. i'm already trying to mend myself. to put the pieces of my broken heart back together again. i wish i had the guts to end my life bc it would make everything so much easier. i would be gone. just a distant memory. someone you don't even remember by name.
a note from the author
hey everyone (which is NOT a lot, i can assure you) i'm sorry for not posting a lot. i haven't gotten around to getting hold of a computer. i kind of just "stole" my laptop from the very "secret" hiding place that my parents have put it. obviously, i couldn't give a shit.
my life is kind of in ruins at the moment. having drama with everyone and trying to keep myself from falling off the edge. i try so hard to please everyone. i try to leave everyone alone if i'm getting the vibe that they don't want me around. trying to put on a happy face even though every muscle in my body is screaming "NO!!" i honestly don't know what i'm doing anymore. i don't know why i'm here. i'm just wasting everybody's time. just try and prove me wrong.
i'm going to start another blog along with this one. it's going to be a series of letters to the same person.i'm only going to post when i'm on a computer, i may add pictures that remind me of him, lyrics, poems, and scan things onto it. anything goes. it's always easier to write when you have someone to write to. i'm so in love with him. i hate myself for having any hope left for him. i'm pretty sure he knows who he is. i won't give you the url for it, but you can find it on my blogger profile if you really want to read it. i don't even think the person i'm talking about even reads this blog anymore.
love and tears
tanya
my life is kind of in ruins at the moment. having drama with everyone and trying to keep myself from falling off the edge. i try so hard to please everyone. i try to leave everyone alone if i'm getting the vibe that they don't want me around. trying to put on a happy face even though every muscle in my body is screaming "NO!!" i honestly don't know what i'm doing anymore. i don't know why i'm here. i'm just wasting everybody's time. just try and prove me wrong.
i'm going to start another blog along with this one. it's going to be a series of letters to the same person.i'm only going to post when i'm on a computer, i may add pictures that remind me of him, lyrics, poems, and scan things onto it. anything goes. it's always easier to write when you have someone to write to. i'm so in love with him. i hate myself for having any hope left for him. i'm pretty sure he knows who he is. i won't give you the url for it, but you can find it on my blogger profile if you really want to read it. i don't even think the person i'm talking about even reads this blog anymore.
love and tears
tanya
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
What's something silly or random you think is cute in a guy? (: haha
mmm i like them do be really hyper when necessary to get me to giggle (x
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
of course.... of course he's just down the hall when i'm at my locker. and of course i look over and happen to see him.it made my day that much worse to see him
Monday, January 3, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
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