Sunday, October 31, 2010
he told me to look up "my beautiful rescue" by the providence. i don't know... he said it was the best song ever, so i did. and i have a playlist starting of all the songs he recommended to me. they all have to do with girls... and love. is that supposed to tell me something? well i think this song is beautiful. especially:
"I'm falling more in love.
With every single word I withhold.
I'm falling more in love.
With every single word you say.
I'm falling head-over-heels for you."
honestly, i have no idea if i'm supposed to find a message in these songs from him.... if so, he loves me i guess... or he's recycling songs from ex-gf's, and using them on me to make my "heart melt"
not going to happen, i'm not that gullible. it's weird... all these songs remind me of nick because he would always make up songs on the spot and sing them to me....
maria's party!!!!
OMJ so maria's party was sooooo fun (:
in the beginning of the night, i arrive there [fashionably] late. i get there a half an hour later than the time bc i'm just a bitch like that (;
emily sybert answers the door and she's like "HEY TANYA" and i'm thinking "this is totally fucked up"
i sit next to alex. and there's a lot of people i don't know there. so emily/julia/maria go upstairs. i'm downstairs with julie/alex/joe/mandy. they're all talking about inside jokes and stuff. emily/maria/julia come downstairs all obnoxiously giggling with mardi gras masks on... they all go outside and joe goes with them. after a while; i start talking to the other girls and we all become friends. joe comes back inside, i'm friends with him now. the other girls come back and go upstairs. we start talking about them and shit bc you know teenagers like to do that.... anyways there was a HUUUUGGGGEEEE fight, not even exaggerating. it was like "earth shattering" emily/maria/joe/julia go upstairs on joe's (maria's brother joe, not the other one) balcolny, we decide to go up there too so they don't talk shit. we all become friends now. we all go back inside bc we're freezing our asses off. i think we hang out inside and eat for a little while. then we start planning on doing dingdong ditch so we all go outside. picture a huge, rich neighbor hood with enormous houses and lawns then 8 teens walking down the streets with their heads covered in hoods.... yeaaa pretty cool, huh? mandy needed to get a sweatshirt and joe went with her. they were running back and mandy fell (we all heard it, but none of us saw it except for joe) her elbow was disgustingly bloody, but she told us not to worry about it. so we're pretty much walking around the neighborhood at 10 at night stealing people's halloween decorations, dingdong ditching, and screaming like little girls. then a car started to follow us.... so we went back to maria's at that time. when we got back, we decided to make a bonfire (my second one of the day as a matter of fact) alex went into the house with mandy to help clean her cut. while they were in the house, we were outside talking/eating/laughing and melting plastic silverware. it was fun. then alex comes out and tell us that mandy fainted. we all go inside after we put the fire out. mandy is alright. we all ask alex about what happened. "mandy's head started to droop when they were cleaning the cut. there were like 10 people watching her so it must of made her nervous. her head dropped a second time, and grandma carol said "omigosh she's going to faint" like 2 seconds after, her head hit the counter top really hard and she fell backwards off the stool and onto the ground like extremely hard. then 5 minutes later she woke up and said "where am i" god it was the scariest thing ever, i'm going to be traumatized my whole life now" so that was the story. we all went on the wrap around couch. emily's legs on me, emily lying on joe, maria also lying on joe, julie sitting on maria's ass, mandy inbetween maria's ankles, and julia sitting on the coffee table; this was after alex left. julia then left, followed by emily, then joe, then me.... and the other two girls obv. haha the night was great and i made no enemies and have great memories. last halloween, i did nothing. so this was a good follow up. HAPPY HALLOWEEN
in the beginning of the night, i arrive there [fashionably] late. i get there a half an hour later than the time bc i'm just a bitch like that (;
emily sybert answers the door and she's like "HEY TANYA" and i'm thinking "this is totally fucked up"
i sit next to alex. and there's a lot of people i don't know there. so emily/julia/maria go upstairs. i'm downstairs with julie/alex/joe/mandy. they're all talking about inside jokes and stuff. emily/maria/julia come downstairs all obnoxiously giggling with mardi gras masks on... they all go outside and joe goes with them. after a while; i start talking to the other girls and we all become friends. joe comes back inside, i'm friends with him now. the other girls come back and go upstairs. we start talking about them and shit bc you know teenagers like to do that.... anyways there was a HUUUUGGGGEEEE fight, not even exaggerating. it was like "earth shattering" emily/maria/joe/julia go upstairs on joe's (maria's brother joe, not the other one) balcolny, we decide to go up there too so they don't talk shit. we all become friends now. we all go back inside bc we're freezing our asses off. i think we hang out inside and eat for a little while. then we start planning on doing dingdong ditch so we all go outside. picture a huge, rich neighbor hood with enormous houses and lawns then 8 teens walking down the streets with their heads covered in hoods.... yeaaa pretty cool, huh? mandy needed to get a sweatshirt and joe went with her. they were running back and mandy fell (we all heard it, but none of us saw it except for joe) her elbow was disgustingly bloody, but she told us not to worry about it. so we're pretty much walking around the neighborhood at 10 at night stealing people's halloween decorations, dingdong ditching, and screaming like little girls. then a car started to follow us.... so we went back to maria's at that time. when we got back, we decided to make a bonfire (my second one of the day as a matter of fact) alex went into the house with mandy to help clean her cut. while they were in the house, we were outside talking/eating/laughing and melting plastic silverware. it was fun. then alex comes out and tell us that mandy fainted. we all go inside after we put the fire out. mandy is alright. we all ask alex about what happened. "mandy's head started to droop when they were cleaning the cut. there were like 10 people watching her so it must of made her nervous. her head dropped a second time, and grandma carol said "omigosh she's going to faint" like 2 seconds after, her head hit the counter top really hard and she fell backwards off the stool and onto the ground like extremely hard. then 5 minutes later she woke up and said "where am i" god it was the scariest thing ever, i'm going to be traumatized my whole life now" so that was the story. we all went on the wrap around couch. emily's legs on me, emily lying on joe, maria also lying on joe, julie sitting on maria's ass, mandy inbetween maria's ankles, and julia sitting on the coffee table; this was after alex left. julia then left, followed by emily, then joe, then me.... and the other two girls obv. haha the night was great and i made no enemies and have great memories. last halloween, i did nothing. so this was a good follow up. HAPPY HALLOWEEN
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
dear john,
i don't love you back. i don't want to be your friend anymore. don't you get it? haven't you noticed i don't want you in my life anymore? you're obnoxiously annoying and your voice pisses me off. you always sound like you're whining. yes, i do whine, i'm mean, i'm a bitch. i told you to never lie to me, that's all i asked, john, and you lied. you lied about the most important thing to me: love. you know my feelings about love and you lied to me. john, you're a fucking douche-bag. i don't want to be your friend or talk to you because everything sounds like a lie to me now. the whole time, i knew you were in love with me, too. how the hell could i have taken advantage of that? of the fact that you were in love with me? why did you have to tell me you weren't. you knew it was a dumb move, and you did it anyways. i know i told you i don't hate anyone. but john, i really do hate you. you hurt me so much saying that. it's not that i was in love with you back (God, no) but john, you were my best friend, love is important. i wanted you to think of me, and when you said that, it felt like you stabbed me in the back, that you hated me so much and that you didn't want me in your life. john: i hate you.
-t♥
-t♥
Gallery - Questionable Halloween Costumes
Gallery - Questionable Halloween Costumes
ewwww it's like a choud haha sorry this could be porn but w/e i thought it was disturbingly funny (:
ewwww it's like a choud haha sorry this could be porn but w/e i thought it was disturbingly funny (:
Thursday, October 28, 2010
found this picture.... it's perfect (: all my friends and i do that....
thanks for noticing....
yes: don't we all have body issues. just to be clear; i'll mention some of mine from head to toe:
yes: i love parts of my body, too; here are some of them:
so yes, the negatives over-power the positives
but at least i can accept i have a few positives.
- i have an upside-down widow's peak
- my hair is thinner than i'd like it to be
- i've had acne since fourth grade
- i have small teeth that used to be perfect
- broke my nose in the orphanage sooo it's messed up until i can pay from rhinoplastry
- i have problems with my neck...
- i have small boobs...and people always mention it
- if i were thinner, my boobs would look bigger
- i used to be the thin, sexy Russian, now i'm fat
- being a girl is annoying
- i'm really body shy during uhm sexual things...
- all my weight is in my ass, which makes me look flatter in the boob department
- i have huge thighs
- i don't have soft hands
- my arms are too thin
- i'm not evenly proportioned
yes: i love parts of my body, too; here are some of them:
- my hair is very versatile and looks good in every cut/ color
- i have the best cheekbones on the planet
- i have absolutely gorgeous Russian eyes
- i like the shape of lips, and i look great in any color lipstick
- i'm really white, but i honestly don't mind it
- i have really nice calves
- i'm short and usually like it
- i hold myself with confidence no matter how i'm feeling
so yes, the negatives over-power the positives
but at least i can accept i have a few positives.
i think it's funny bc he told me to look up two songs by "the used" and i'm in love with those guys (: ironic, huh?
there's certain songs you hear and cry because of a memory. an old memory back from the days. the days that you used to be in love. the songs that make you think of him. the one guy you ever really had feelings for. thinking about it is choking me up... tears running down my face. when they say "good times" they mean it, everyone means it.... they really were the good times.... the sad times were even good, when we fought and hit, touched and kissed. it was all so great. love and lust in a blend of beauty. listening to those certain songs that him and i once shared makes me want to go back to the time he used to care....
there's certain songs you hear and cry because of a memory. an old memory back from the days. the days that you used to be in love. the songs that make you think of him. the one guy you ever really had feelings for. thinking about it is choking me up... tears running down my face. when they say "good times" they mean it, everyone means it.... they really were the good times.... the sad times were even good, when we fought and hit, touched and kissed. it was all so great. love and lust in a blend of beauty. listening to those certain songs that him and i once shared makes me want to go back to the time he used to care....
i'd want to be at my own funeral... to see who will cry, to see who will show up... to see who will care, to see who will miss me... to see who give flowers... to hear the people that never told me they loved me and hear them say it for the first time over my motionless corpse. why doesn't anyone have the guts to say straight out and simple "i love you" it's not hard. some people say it so easily and manipulate it. but when you hear someone saying they love you, and it's coming from their heart... you know it's true. no matter if i'm a corpse or not.... i swell at the sound of those three simple words "i love you" i cry a silent tear and drift off into the nothingness of death... those words echoeing in my soul, that's all that's left, a soul.
he sent me a text
"Well, ik you're sleeping, but hopefully i can at least get you to smile when you wake up, so I'll try (: basically, I just wanted to say that I can't stop thinking about you. And it's been like this since the first time I've talked to you. IFeelAddicted. It's weird. But anyways, you know how before I said how there's like something mysterious about you, and that I love it? Well yeah. That was like one little thing that made you so addicting. Like, you're someone that decided I'm not "any other guy" which will still take a bit for you to convince me completely, but it still means a lot. Ik I'm being a dick to "her" with you and stuff... But that's not really what I think about when I'm with you. I just think about being good enough for you, and only you. Maybe I'm selfish and just want both of you, but ik eventually that can't be possible. Oh well. We can see where we go in the future. But so far, you're like, a majority of what I've always wanted to find in a girl.. Smart, outgoing but a little shy, honest, sexy (yes ik I hate that word) and especially caring. That part just means so much to me. Like, you write everyday that you want me to smile, and god it feels good to be thinking of you & smiling . <3 i used to never smile or be happy or anything.. And you've just given me so much more confidence in a matter of weeks. Oh well. Crazy shit happens, I'm not much for fate, but hey, a fortune teller did tell me I'd marry someone who was born in a foreign country. Why not you? I think I could like that. A lot. <3 I love you Tatyana, good morning if you woke up, sweet dreams if you're still awake. I really do love you so much... And i tried starting to explain how in this message. <3 see you soon!"
how can you not fall in love with a guy that tells you this?
a guy that writes you notes and gives them to you in between lockers?
a guy that walks me to all the classes that he's able to see me to?
a guy that tells you he loves you and sounds as though he means it?
a guy that says he loves you more than sexual?
a guy that looks like a unicorn?
a guy with crooked teeth that you feel when you kiss him?
a guy that thinks he's fat but he's not?
a guy that looks at you and makes you blush?
a guy that's willing to show everyone that we're friends?
a guy that doesn't care about the rumors?
a guy that hangs out with me?
a guy that makes me feel happier than i've felt in months?
how can you not fall in love with a guy like him?
there's so much more that i'd say about him... but, i don't want to ruin it by saying it.
the personal recesses of my mind will hold all my truths about the feelings i hold for him.
dan: it's not who you think.
how can you not fall in love with a guy that tells you this?
a guy that writes you notes and gives them to you in between lockers?
a guy that walks me to all the classes that he's able to see me to?
a guy that tells you he loves you and sounds as though he means it?
a guy that says he loves you more than sexual?
a guy that looks like a unicorn?
a guy with crooked teeth that you feel when you kiss him?
a guy that thinks he's fat but he's not?
a guy that looks at you and makes you blush?
a guy that's willing to show everyone that we're friends?
a guy that doesn't care about the rumors?
a guy that hangs out with me?
a guy that makes me feel happier than i've felt in months?
how can you not fall in love with a guy like him?
there's so much more that i'd say about him... but, i don't want to ruin it by saying it.
the personal recesses of my mind will hold all my truths about the feelings i hold for him.
dan: it's not who you think.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
my parents hate me right now
so do my sisters
luke and i were like twins today at school CRAZY COOL
i might like this one guy... andrew h... weird, right????
luke is my backbone, my new friend
i have a lot of new junior friends
i'm feeling pretty good about life right now
i write a lot now
i need to find a new book to read
i love luke's notes ♥
so do my sisters
luke and i were like twins today at school CRAZY COOL
i might like this one guy... andrew h... weird, right????
luke is my backbone, my new friend
i have a lot of new junior friends
i'm feeling pretty good about life right now
i write a lot now
i need to find a new book to read
i love luke's notes ♥
handwriting observations
sensitive scripter:
Your handwriting reveals you as a thoughtful, intellectual type who avoids fake people and places where there's lots of noise and crowds. You're probably the one people go to when they're feeling super sad and don't run off at the mouth unless someone hounds you for your opinion.
Being creative is probably easy for you, but expressing it in front of a large group is not. You might write in a blog or journal, enjoy things that are old-fashioned or obscure and (maybe) don't get most pop culture references (who cares about 'em anyway?).
Your handwriting reveals you as a thoughtful, intellectual type who avoids fake people and places where there's lots of noise and crowds. You're probably the one people go to when they're feeling super sad and don't run off at the mouth unless someone hounds you for your opinion.
Being creative is probably easy for you, but expressing it in front of a large group is not. You might write in a blog or journal, enjoy things that are old-fashioned or obscure and (maybe) don't get most pop culture references (who cares about 'em anyway?).
results of a love quiz
John Alan Lee would identify you as the classic red-blooded lover: passionate, abandoned and a great admirer of physical beauty. Ah, the romantic, the prime target of Cupid's arrow.
When hit, red types have a tendency to fall hard. Think lovesick--fluttering heart, sweating palms, an upset stomach. What do you say, are you a sucker for a stranger's pretty face? And if you meet the right stranger, do you wind up spending every waking minute with your beloved? You may become smitten, but don't worry, it's unlikely you're ever in such a haze that you'll stay in a bad relationship for the sake of love.
When hit, red types have a tendency to fall hard. Think lovesick--fluttering heart, sweating palms, an upset stomach. What do you say, are you a sucker for a stranger's pretty face? And if you meet the right stranger, do you wind up spending every waking minute with your beloved? You may become smitten, but don't worry, it's unlikely you're ever in such a haze that you'll stay in a bad relationship for the sake of love.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
dan, why should i care that you're single? you always let me down. you say you don't judge, but you go and judge me. you say you love me, then rub it in my face that you've found someone new. well, dan, i've found someone now, someone that hasn't got me second-guessing everything i do or say; someone who makes me smile randomly in the middle of the day bc he gives me notes in school. you're a great friend dan, and you know i love you with everything i've got, but dan, i don't think i can depend on you to ever really be there for me. this guy has made my world completely change for the better.
parents
someday my parents will realize i was the best daughter they ever had for a few reasons:
1) i take care of my sisters
2) i make them so much stronger than they need to be
3) i give them advice that actually works
4) i'm there for them
5) i'd die for either of them if we were in a dangerous situation
6) i protect them from so much more than they need to know about
7) i've taught them so much
8) when they're crying and yelling, i don't yell back unless necessary
9) we say hate, but at the end of the day, it's love
10) we've all we have left of our roots
11) russian weirdos forever ♥♥♥
1) i take care of my sisters
2) i make them so much stronger than they need to be
3) i give them advice that actually works
4) i'm there for them
5) i'd die for either of them if we were in a dangerous situation
6) i protect them from so much more than they need to know about
7) i've taught them so much
8) when they're crying and yelling, i don't yell back unless necessary
9) we say hate, but at the end of the day, it's love
10) we've all we have left of our roots
11) russian weirdos forever ♥♥♥
luke and i are just friends
i almost had sex the other night
i'm not putting the guy that i'm involved with on my blog bc of dan
dan, i don't care if you're single
you can't call a girl a slut if you don't know anything about the past situations
my friends gave me the nickname "scar" from lion king, they don't know how ironic that is
i've been happier than before
2 dress down days in a row (:
i almost had sex the other night
i'm not putting the guy that i'm involved with on my blog bc of dan
dan, i don't care if you're single
you can't call a girl a slut if you don't know anything about the past situations
my friends gave me the nickname "scar" from lion king, they don't know how ironic that is
i've been happier than before
2 dress down days in a row (:
Monday, October 25, 2010
haha i just got really annoyed with these ANONYMOUSLY pussies trying to make you feel like shit.
awww kels (: you're the greatest(: hope your ankle feels better (:
wow, seriously, she isnt a whore, shes awesome, wtf is everybody's problem?
finally we have a winner (: thank youuuu <3
people need to leave her alone shes not a whore,easy or whatever. leave her alone. shes a nice person & really funny & if you really knew her you wouldnt be sayin this shit about her. stop assuming things.. you just look like an idiot. love you tanya<3
awww i love you too (: you're the best <3 i'm tearing up haha i'm so happy you're my friend <33
ull have sex with ne1
i really won't so stop being a dumbshit and get your story straight. how would you even know that?
Luke knows youd never want to go out with cuz you think hes weird and nasty, him i told him, so no worries! :)
i don't really understand that. he's not weird or nasty so i have no clue who you are
hi. your kinda really pretty and beautiful and awesome and i love you and what are your three favorite types of candy?
1) warheads 2) sourpatch kids 3) sour skittles
Almost had sex last night but when i got his to his belt ,dad rang his doorbell. it was amazing though(orgasm just thinking about it)idc,i'm happy again
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
im sorry i accused you, i didnt mean to offend i was just curious. and now someones been tearing shit and i feel bad for you guys because your both awesome...awesome as friends (:
thanks bobby (: means a lot. you smelled pretty good today lol have a good weekend. these people are unbelievable...
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
u and luke wuld be a cute couple u shuld try it
FYI: he has a gf, and she's not me lol.... people need to shut up.... ughhhh
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
wow tanya we all now u like him so shut up and tell the truth
omigawd are you kidding, you don't know how to spell 'KNOW' mannnnn you're wackk
Monday, October 18, 2010
wrote luke the most obnoxious note ever... may be having second thoughts but i'll just play a game with him for now... he wrote me a pretty great note too (:
i was kind of upset today, though... i just wasn't acting like myself... and everyone noticed.
gym was a bitch this morning, but it was also super fun (:
going to the mall with a huge crowd tonight (: it's going to be fun, i hope.
no school tomorrow! thank God
i was kind of upset today, though... i just wasn't acting like myself... and everyone noticed.
gym was a bitch this morning, but it was also super fun (:
going to the mall with a huge crowd tonight (: it's going to be fun, i hope.
no school tomorrow! thank God
Sunday, October 17, 2010
okay whoever keeps bringing up that tanya like luke.. shut the fuck up.. you obviously don't know them... they are good friends.. tanya told me she likes him as A FRIEND.. so whoever you are.. just stop. you don't know what your talking about.
thank you kelsey gawd these people are annoying.... it's fucking retarded.....! and you're my best friend so you know that i don't like anyone haha >.< love you kels <3
lmao, YOU DO have a crush on luke! thts cute (: but his gf is superrrrr pretty
yea i know she is! i don't have a crush on him, who even uses the word crush woooowwwww totally immature, i'm not in elementary school. like i said LUKE AND I ARE FRIENDS
Saturday, October 16, 2010
luke is going to break up with kailtyn for you. when he asks you out are you going to say yes?
why all these luke questions? yea, we say hey in the halls. SCANDALOUS! not, no need for you to obsess. take a few deep breaths. *in..... out...... in..... out* are you calmer now?
my email to lauren about luke.
lauren, i have so much to tell you so i'll try my best, let me quickly grab my cell phone....4 seconds later.... GOT IT
so luke texted me at 11:04, he apologized for not being able to text me before-hand, he said he had things to do. his text said that he waited for me by my locker at the end of the day, but i wasn't there. he said he missed me. 2 minutes later he sent a text saying he was upset bc he thought i was asleep. i told him i was awake after i got that text. he asked me how i was. i was doing awful, lauren, i was bawling for no reason. so i told him. "Omgg! Are you okk? I' so sorry :/ can I help? I love youu <3 what's wrong? :/" that's what he sent me. i told him i wasn't having a good night. i went to the swim meet and patdick was there (i didn't mention him by name to luke) well dick was shirtless and he kept staring at me for 2 1/2 hours. it freaked me out. luke wanted to help me, he told me to forget about everything, clear my head. i asked him if he lied to me yet. "Nope! Nothing I have to lie to you about. Basically I really want you in my life somehow... And I'm not fuckin up my chancess" that's really sweet(: he says that he doesn't like to be a bad boyfriend, but somehow he always was and it bothered him. he says he wants to sit with me when we have the same lunches... eating will be harder than usual for me if that happens. he wants to come over tuesday and he asked what we were going to do. i told him that if it's not raining, we're outside. i'll show him the dam and maybe valley. and just talk and try to get over that awkward bridge that him and i have. he says he's going to kiss me. i told him i'm always nervous about first kisses, i don't want to mess it up. he speaks polish. he told me that one time he went to a fortune teller and she told him that he was going to marry someone from another country and have three kids. he asked me what my view on fate was. me- " I feel like everything's already mapped out. that everything you say just adds to this web. like we can make our own decisions, but once we make a move on the decision, it changes your whole future completely. i don't really believe in Heaven or really even God, but i believe in the dark side. i don't worship the dark side or anthing. i fell like everything's either good or bad, truth or lies, death or life, love or loss. never both." his response was "You're pretty amazing btw (: haha. You're like, super cute, a lilttle mysterious, and very like adament with what you think. I love that." adament means: having your views on something, and sticking with them. " a little later he said "So yeah. I like youu. I miss you & wanna see you." i told him my 3 favorite candies were 1)warheads 2)sourpatch 3)mike-n-ike. he says he was going to stick sourpatch and mike-n-ike in my locker someday. i told him i don't like people spending money on me, he said all i needed to do was hug him and it would be alright. at 12:27p he said "Ugh. I don't think you should go to sleep. You should talk to me, cuz i like talking to youu. Lol" i told him i was about to say the same thing ( i really was ) he started drawing me graffitti after i told him i was laying in bed reading/texting/listening to music. it says tatyana in all lowercase (he knows i hate caps, remember) he told me that he used to write but doesn't anymore. he says he mostly is into photography and drawing. he loves aerosol arts, as in graffitti. he has graffitti in NYC, DC, CT. his tag name is: Born. he asked me if he should use colour pencils or markers, i said coloured pencils, he said he already started using that. him and i have the same like thoughts, lauren. he started mentioning how freakily similar our notes had been. "Everything you tell me about yourself I find so interesting. It's great." he mentioned how he loved my name tatyana and i told him about my insecurities about the name. he said "I don't think your messed up! The more I get to know you, the more unique I think you are. I love that. I'm sick of generic girls. You're real, and individual, and one-of-a-kind. So you're name is perfect, it matches you. It's pretty, unique, and individual." i think he felt pretty strongly about what he was saying because he messed up his grammer a few times, and he never does that. he says he will dance with me a little at homecoming but doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend. i understood what he meant, i mean, who wouldn't? i told about my food issues, he didn't get it at first so i explained, he felt awful. i told him that i'm off sex for a year, and he said he didn't even have that in his mind yet, i don't know whether that's an insult or a good thing.... we started talking about dreams. he said he mostly has reoccuring nightmares. he gets scared bc life is so hard. he told me he liked me again. it's 1:50a when he says this. we start talking about religion. he says he isn't religious because his mom is a huge religion-freak. he hates his mom and he hates his father. he says that every once in a while he'll go through huge stages of repentance, i know exactly what he means because that happens to me, too. he says the only thing he's afraid of is barbed wire. i mentioned socks which led to suicide. him and i have suicide issues. i won't tell you exactly what he said because i'm the second person he's ever told and he trusts me. i started talking about myself and my four suicide attempts. he said " You're an amazing person, if anything's ever bothering you pleasee talk to me. i wanna make you fell better whenever i can. And, at this point, you've made me like you so much that I don't want to lose you. So if you decide to not like me, I'll still be attached/ annoying." i told him i won't leave him unless he hurts me. this was 2:31a. he says he hates hurting girls, hates making them cry. i told him i was there for him, whenever he needed someone to talk to, i was here. he told me he was going to go to sleep. "i think I love you, Tanya, let's not ruin this." my heart stopped lauren, it just stopped. i haven't felt this way since nick. do you think i should trust luke? be honest. do you think he's a good guy and has good intentions? should i stop worrying about him hurting me and lieing to me? tell me what you think. be honest. love you raine. i think i might be in love with him. it's been a week, but him and i have shared so much, we know eachother's deepest secrets, we learned eachother's morals, he talked to me like he was talking to my soul. i cryed happy tears, raine. i couldn't fall asleep, the last time i saw on my clock was 4:51a, i think i fell asleep then. he texted me at 7:37a "I'm kind of tired, but it's ok, cuz every second I was up yesterday was worth it. (: " i wish love was easy. i wish you could trust someone with everything, fully trust them and know they wouldn't decieve you or tell you things just to get you vulnerable enough for them to have sex with you. tell me everything you're thinking, lauren. ♥
so luke texted me at 11:04, he apologized for not being able to text me before-hand, he said he had things to do. his text said that he waited for me by my locker at the end of the day, but i wasn't there. he said he missed me. 2 minutes later he sent a text saying he was upset bc he thought i was asleep. i told him i was awake after i got that text. he asked me how i was. i was doing awful, lauren, i was bawling for no reason. so i told him. "Omgg! Are you okk? I' so sorry :/ can I help? I love youu <3 what's wrong? :/" that's what he sent me. i told him i wasn't having a good night. i went to the swim meet and patdick was there (i didn't mention him by name to luke) well dick was shirtless and he kept staring at me for 2 1/2 hours. it freaked me out. luke wanted to help me, he told me to forget about everything, clear my head. i asked him if he lied to me yet. "Nope! Nothing I have to lie to you about. Basically I really want you in my life somehow... And I'm not fuckin up my chancess" that's really sweet(: he says that he doesn't like to be a bad boyfriend, but somehow he always was and it bothered him. he says he wants to sit with me when we have the same lunches... eating will be harder than usual for me if that happens. he wants to come over tuesday and he asked what we were going to do. i told him that if it's not raining, we're outside. i'll show him the dam and maybe valley. and just talk and try to get over that awkward bridge that him and i have. he says he's going to kiss me. i told him i'm always nervous about first kisses, i don't want to mess it up. he speaks polish. he told me that one time he went to a fortune teller and she told him that he was going to marry someone from another country and have three kids. he asked me what my view on fate was. me- " I feel like everything's already mapped out. that everything you say just adds to this web. like we can make our own decisions, but once we make a move on the decision, it changes your whole future completely. i don't really believe in Heaven or really even God, but i believe in the dark side. i don't worship the dark side or anthing. i fell like everything's either good or bad, truth or lies, death or life, love or loss. never both." his response was "You're pretty amazing btw (: haha. You're like, super cute, a lilttle mysterious, and very like adament with what you think. I love that." adament means: having your views on something, and sticking with them. " a little later he said "So yeah. I like youu. I miss you & wanna see you." i told him my 3 favorite candies were 1)warheads 2)sourpatch 3)mike-n-ike. he says he was going to stick sourpatch and mike-n-ike in my locker someday. i told him i don't like people spending money on me, he said all i needed to do was hug him and it would be alright. at 12:27p he said "Ugh. I don't think you should go to sleep. You should talk to me, cuz i like talking to youu. Lol" i told him i was about to say the same thing ( i really was ) he started drawing me graffitti after i told him i was laying in bed reading/texting/listening to music. it says tatyana in all lowercase (he knows i hate caps, remember) he told me that he used to write but doesn't anymore. he says he mostly is into photography and drawing. he loves aerosol arts, as in graffitti. he has graffitti in NYC, DC, CT. his tag name is: Born. he asked me if he should use colour pencils or markers, i said coloured pencils, he said he already started using that. him and i have the same like thoughts, lauren. he started mentioning how freakily similar our notes had been. "Everything you tell me about yourself I find so interesting. It's great." he mentioned how he loved my name tatyana and i told him about my insecurities about the name. he said "I don't think your messed up! The more I get to know you, the more unique I think you are. I love that. I'm sick of generic girls. You're real, and individual, and one-of-a-kind. So you're name is perfect, it matches you. It's pretty, unique, and individual." i think he felt pretty strongly about what he was saying because he messed up his grammer a few times, and he never does that. he says he will dance with me a little at homecoming but doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend. i understood what he meant, i mean, who wouldn't? i told about my food issues, he didn't get it at first so i explained, he felt awful. i told him that i'm off sex for a year, and he said he didn't even have that in his mind yet, i don't know whether that's an insult or a good thing.... we started talking about dreams. he said he mostly has reoccuring nightmares. he gets scared bc life is so hard. he told me he liked me again. it's 1:50a when he says this. we start talking about religion. he says he isn't religious because his mom is a huge religion-freak. he hates his mom and he hates his father. he says that every once in a while he'll go through huge stages of repentance, i know exactly what he means because that happens to me, too. he says the only thing he's afraid of is barbed wire. i mentioned socks which led to suicide. him and i have suicide issues. i won't tell you exactly what he said because i'm the second person he's ever told and he trusts me. i started talking about myself and my four suicide attempts. he said " You're an amazing person, if anything's ever bothering you pleasee talk to me. i wanna make you fell better whenever i can. And, at this point, you've made me like you so much that I don't want to lose you. So if you decide to not like me, I'll still be attached/ annoying." i told him i won't leave him unless he hurts me. this was 2:31a. he says he hates hurting girls, hates making them cry. i told him i was there for him, whenever he needed someone to talk to, i was here. he told me he was going to go to sleep. "i think I love you, Tanya, let's not ruin this." my heart stopped lauren, it just stopped. i haven't felt this way since nick. do you think i should trust luke? be honest. do you think he's a good guy and has good intentions? should i stop worrying about him hurting me and lieing to me? tell me what you think. be honest. love you raine. i think i might be in love with him. it's been a week, but him and i have shared so much, we know eachother's deepest secrets, we learned eachother's morals, he talked to me like he was talking to my soul. i cryed happy tears, raine. i couldn't fall asleep, the last time i saw on my clock was 4:51a, i think i fell asleep then. he texted me at 7:37a "I'm kind of tired, but it's ok, cuz every second I was up yesterday was worth it. (: " i wish love was easy. i wish you could trust someone with everything, fully trust them and know they wouldn't decieve you or tell you things just to get you vulnerable enough for them to have sex with you. tell me everything you're thinking, lauren. ♥
lukeee......
♥♥♥
i told him so much, he told me so much, we were honest. he didn't come over thursday, his friend got into a car accident so luke stayed with him in the hospital. ♥
he wants to come over tuesday.
he says he loves me, the real way, i've pretty much revealed everything about myself. he told me his deepest secret.... he's an amazing guy. someone on formspring asked if i wanted to "get with luke" him and i are just friends with secrets. i like him. he has a girlfriend, though. i won't dishoner that. i'll just kiss him, that's not too bad.
he and i pass notes during school. he made me three paper roses that were blue. blue is my favorite color for flowers. in one of them; he wrote a note. "dear tanya, love you! hope you have a better day (: ♥luke" it was really sweet bc he saw me on the verge of tears on wednesday. he gave me the flowers thursday. we passed eachother notes in the hallway friday. everyone saw it. all of these exchanges. he's not afraid to show he likes me, he's not like most boys i'm used to. him and i have so many things in common, we even think the same. our notes had the same topics. we fold them the same way but we didn't tell eachother that we were going to write notes. he knew i liked coloured pencils better than markers. he's into the same arts as i am. he drew me graffitti. he and i both need a little help.
i just hope i don't get hurt. i feel like i might fall in love with him, especially after our conversation last night/this morning. he's so sweet. he says he won't hurt me, he says that he wants me in his like and he's not fucking up his chances.
♥♥♥
♥♥♥
i told him so much, he told me so much, we were honest. he didn't come over thursday, his friend got into a car accident so luke stayed with him in the hospital. ♥
he wants to come over tuesday.
he says he loves me, the real way, i've pretty much revealed everything about myself. he told me his deepest secret.... he's an amazing guy. someone on formspring asked if i wanted to "get with luke" him and i are just friends with secrets. i like him. he has a girlfriend, though. i won't dishoner that. i'll just kiss him, that's not too bad.
he and i pass notes during school. he made me three paper roses that were blue. blue is my favorite color for flowers. in one of them; he wrote a note. "dear tanya, love you! hope you have a better day (: ♥luke" it was really sweet bc he saw me on the verge of tears on wednesday. he gave me the flowers thursday. we passed eachother notes in the hallway friday. everyone saw it. all of these exchanges. he's not afraid to show he likes me, he's not like most boys i'm used to. him and i have so many things in common, we even think the same. our notes had the same topics. we fold them the same way but we didn't tell eachother that we were going to write notes. he knew i liked coloured pencils better than markers. he's into the same arts as i am. he drew me graffitti. he and i both need a little help.
i just hope i don't get hurt. i feel like i might fall in love with him, especially after our conversation last night/this morning. he's so sweet. he says he won't hurt me, he says that he wants me in his like and he's not fucking up his chances.
♥♥♥
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
PSATs today...
i hugged luke!!! ♥♥♥
lauren and i are definately besties again (:
going to maria w's on friday and finally have halloween plans *phew*
probably never going to drive
luke wants to come over tomorrow, but i don't want him to bc of vee
maybe possibly seeing trent tomorrow after school?
never did hang out with julia. she says she only likes me as a friend now. go figure
nick pretty much stabbed me in the back but added me on fb anyways
patrick is soo gross...
♥♥♥luke♥♥♥
my makeup looked fabulous yesterday!
friends at the moment: joshn, mariaf, mariaw, alexk, laurenb, kelseyj, abbyg, bobbyg, kaylab, paulb, michellew,michellet, kristals, luker, brendag, julliannec, some others that i can't think of lol
lauren definately fixed me at school
has it been getting colder?
i hugged luke!!! ♥♥♥
lauren and i are definately besties again (:
going to maria w's on friday and finally have halloween plans *phew*
probably never going to drive
luke wants to come over tomorrow, but i don't want him to bc of vee
maybe possibly seeing trent tomorrow after school?
never did hang out with julia. she says she only likes me as a friend now. go figure
nick pretty much stabbed me in the back but added me on fb anyways
patrick is soo gross...
♥♥♥luke♥♥♥
my makeup looked fabulous yesterday!
friends at the moment: joshn, mariaf, mariaw, alexk, laurenb, kelseyj, abbyg, bobbyg, kaylab, paulb, michellew,michellet, kristals, luker, brendag, julliannec, some others that i can't think of lol
lauren definately fixed me at school
has it been getting colder?
60 questions
60 Questions People Dont Ask Survey from Quizopolis.com
When's the last time you ran? - yesterday for the mile or technically i ran to lauren this morning (:
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? - duhhh
What are you dreading right now? - i don\'t know, everything i guess
Do you celebrate 420? - no
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - for the most part
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? - watch tv or walk around the neighborhood or to the dam
Who last grabbed your ass? - daelon
Have you ever been on your school's track team? - yes. kind of
Do you own a pair of Converse? - 4 actually
Did you copy and paste this survey? - i might
Do you eat raw cookie dough? - yes (:
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? - yea lol the ones at school are fucked
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? - omigawd yes
Do you watch Trading Spaces? - used to
How do you eat oreos? - take one of the black cookies off, lick the icing and throw it away
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? - kind of did that last night
Are you cocky? - lol yes but i\'m always joking
Could you live without a computer? - no i don\'t think so
Do you wear your shoes in the house? - no i hate shoes
Who or what sleeps with you? - stuffed dog, kitty, sometimes one of my sisters when they can\'t sleep
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? - 1st of 2nd grade
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? - 8 or 9
What do you do when you're sad? - cry and cut
Who would you call first if you won the lottery? - chad carpenter
Last time you saw your best friend? - 2 months ago
Are you in high school? - yes, love it
What jewelry are you wearing? - none
Is anyone on your bad side now? - i don\'t think so
What's the first thing you do when you get online? - check my formspring
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? - nope
How do most people spell your name? - TONYA
Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? - yes, love it
Where do you work? - i want to work at the roller rink
What are you doing tomorrow? - school duh
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? - not even close
Favorite name for a girl? - odette
Favorite name for a boy? - guy
Will you keep your last name when you get married? - probably not
When was the last time you left your house? - today
Do you return your cart? - grocery cart?
Do you have a dishwasher? - yes, love it
What noise do you hear? - mom shuffling papers
Would you survive in prison? - yes
Who is the youngest in your family? - kristina
If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? - lauren
Do you know anyone with the same name as you? - no
What's the last thing you purchased? - gum and nailpolish
Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? - yes <3
What brand are your pants right now? - they\'re from my school lol
Ever been to Georgia (the state)? - yes
What irritates you most on the internet? - pop ups
What brand is your digital camera? - sanyo
Do you watch movies with your parents? - sometimes
What song best describes your life right now? - don\'t have one atm
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? - yes.
Are you taking college classes right now? - yes
Do you like sushi? - yes!
Do you get your hair cut every month? - i cut it myself
Do you go online everyday? - yes
Will you pass this survey on to 5 people? - no
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/survey/4725/60-Questions-People-Dont-Ask-Survey/
When's the last time you ran? - yesterday for the mile or technically i ran to lauren this morning (:
Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? - duhhh
What are you dreading right now? - i don\'t know, everything i guess
Do you celebrate 420? - no
Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night? - for the most part
If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would ya'll do? - watch tv or walk around the neighborhood or to the dam
Who last grabbed your ass? - daelon
Have you ever been on your school's track team? - yes. kind of
Do you own a pair of Converse? - 4 actually
Did you copy and paste this survey? - i might
Do you eat raw cookie dough? - yes (:
Have you ever kicked a vending machine? - yea lol the ones at school are fucked
Don't you hate it when the radio ruins good songs by playing them over and over? - omigawd yes
Do you watch Trading Spaces? - used to
How do you eat oreos? - take one of the black cookies off, lick the icing and throw it away
Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone? - kind of did that last night
Are you cocky? - lol yes but i\'m always joking
Could you live without a computer? - no i don\'t think so
Do you wear your shoes in the house? - no i hate shoes
Who or what sleeps with you? - stuffed dog, kitty, sometimes one of my sisters when they can\'t sleep
At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real? - 1st of 2nd grade
How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house? - 8 or 9
What do you do when you're sad? - cry and cut
Who would you call first if you won the lottery? - chad carpenter
Last time you saw your best friend? - 2 months ago
Are you in high school? - yes, love it
What jewelry are you wearing? - none
Is anyone on your bad side now? - i don\'t think so
What's the first thing you do when you get online? - check my formspring
Do you watch Grey's Anatomy? - nope
How do most people spell your name? - TONYA
Would you wear a boy/girlfriends clothes? - yes, love it
Where do you work? - i want to work at the roller rink
What are you doing tomorrow? - school duh
Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson? - not even close
Favorite name for a girl? - odette
Favorite name for a boy? - guy
Will you keep your last name when you get married? - probably not
When was the last time you left your house? - today
Do you return your cart? - grocery cart?
Do you have a dishwasher? - yes, love it
What noise do you hear? - mom shuffling papers
Would you survive in prison? - yes
Who is the youngest in your family? - kristina
If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likey overpack? - lauren
Do you know anyone with the same name as you? - no
What's the last thing you purchased? - gum and nailpolish
Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? - yes <3
What brand are your pants right now? - they\'re from my school lol
Ever been to Georgia (the state)? - yes
What irritates you most on the internet? - pop ups
What brand is your digital camera? - sanyo
Do you watch movies with your parents? - sometimes
What song best describes your life right now? - don\'t have one atm
Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? - yes.
Are you taking college classes right now? - yes
Do you like sushi? - yes!
Do you get your hair cut every month? - i cut it myself
Do you go online everyday? - yes
Will you pass this survey on to 5 people? - no
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/survey/4725/60-Questions-People-Dont-Ask-Survey/
Sunday, October 10, 2010
connecticut science center is the shit!
luke ryba got my number off facebook, and we've been texting all day ♥
he says i have the coolest hair at the school! omjjjj!!!!
he lives in vernon, too!!!!
he knows nick...but they were never friends *phew*
hanging with julia (i hope) all day tomorrow.
luke invited me over tonight...
he really is one of the most attractive guys at school, i've been looking at him since last year.
i don't know how i was ever able to speak russian fluently
...john.... i just don't know how to explain it
anthony is getting annoying
chase ♥♥♥
trent and i are going to hang out sometime this week after school, just to make out nbddd
i hate my period lol (x
luke ryba got my number off facebook, and we've been texting all day ♥
he says i have the coolest hair at the school! omjjjj!!!!
he lives in vernon, too!!!!
he knows nick...but they were never friends *phew*
hanging with julia (i hope) all day tomorrow.
luke invited me over tonight...
he really is one of the most attractive guys at school, i've been looking at him since last year.
i don't know how i was ever able to speak russian fluently
...john.... i just don't know how to explain it
anthony is getting annoying
chase ♥♥♥
trent and i are going to hang out sometime this week after school, just to make out nbddd
i hate my period lol (x
Haha yeahh ik where that iss. That's coool d: haha and idt I've seen you act like a middle school girl d: it's all good
(: i don't think you get what i was trying to say (x
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Haha d: well I've obv seen you arounddd. Where in Vernon do u livee?
you know bolton lake? i like right there on the lake (x tehee lol you've seen me? oh gawd imma stop acting like a middle school school now freaking out ahaa :x
i just don't know what to say
chase says he'll wait for me
dan was being gross earlier
luke ryba is talking to me!!!! eeeep!!!
julez and i might hang on halloween, but brianna wants to, and so do alexx and michelle....
i've kind of just shut down...
cutting is extremely addicting, when i'm bored, i grab the razor and just hack at myself
veeka placed 43 out of 400 runners today at cross country at the huge wickham park meet with 3500 runners!!!! i'm sooo proud.
in the orphanage in russia, they used to call me tanoushka which means "tanya my beloved" they did call me my birth name too, tatyana olegovna "daughter of russia" ♥♥♥
i'm pretty obsessed with making hearts! Alt+Num3 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it's sooo fun (:
i really wish i was a good singer
i want to stop being so lonely...
i made a few new friends
i'm making bracelets again (i'll put pix up when i finish them)
yea... i'm done
chase says he'll wait for me
dan was being gross earlier
luke ryba is talking to me!!!! eeeep!!!
julez and i might hang on halloween, but brianna wants to, and so do alexx and michelle....
i've kind of just shut down...
cutting is extremely addicting, when i'm bored, i grab the razor and just hack at myself
veeka placed 43 out of 400 runners today at cross country at the huge wickham park meet with 3500 runners!!!! i'm sooo proud.
in the orphanage in russia, they used to call me tanoushka which means "tanya my beloved" they did call me my birth name too, tatyana olegovna "daughter of russia" ♥♥♥
i'm pretty obsessed with making hearts! Alt+Num3 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ it's sooo fun (:
i really wish i was a good singer
i want to stop being so lonely...
i made a few new friends
i'm making bracelets again (i'll put pix up when i finish them)
yea... i'm done
Woww yo you live in Vernon too??!
lol yes...i guess you do too? ahaa wait so do you actually know who i am. my mom said i was snubbing you, and i was like fuck you mom, he doesn't know who i am
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
fade
dripping down my leg
washing away my pain
the tears i cry mean i'm weak
i'm so small, so meak
don't know how to say this but i wish i would die
no one would be around to hear my last cry
i wish i could get my life over with to start fresh and new
but what i have, i have so few
i have nothing
i've lost everything
no one to talk to, to listen to me weep
i can't do anything, no small feat
every word i say is lost in the wind
you can't hear me, and i won't say it again
my arms, covered in marks
what's left of my life is just a weak spark
i cry out in morbid pain
no one hears me while the blood gushes from my veins
i feel myself slipping slowly out of focus
i can't do it, i have to get through this
my death wouldn't make the slightest imprint on humanity
but what if there's just one who may love me
would my leaving hurt them as much as it should hurt me
or, would i be saving myself from someone who would like to murder me
i can't breathe
i feel like i'm asleep
holding on by a thread
but, i have to get through, to pull ahead
it's hard to look at myself when i'm so mutilated and ghastly
i should look to see the state of me
soaking my skin with my crimson blood
the thickness pours out of me like a flood
blood is so much thicker than my tears
should i hurt, or should they fear
i should go, disappear
fade into the atmosphere
-t♥
washing away my pain
the tears i cry mean i'm weak
i'm so small, so meak
don't know how to say this but i wish i would die
no one would be around to hear my last cry
i wish i could get my life over with to start fresh and new
but what i have, i have so few
i have nothing
i've lost everything
no one to talk to, to listen to me weep
i can't do anything, no small feat
every word i say is lost in the wind
you can't hear me, and i won't say it again
my arms, covered in marks
what's left of my life is just a weak spark
i cry out in morbid pain
no one hears me while the blood gushes from my veins
i feel myself slipping slowly out of focus
i can't do it, i have to get through this
my death wouldn't make the slightest imprint on humanity
but what if there's just one who may love me
would my leaving hurt them as much as it should hurt me
or, would i be saving myself from someone who would like to murder me
i can't breathe
i feel like i'm asleep
holding on by a thread
but, i have to get through, to pull ahead
it's hard to look at myself when i'm so mutilated and ghastly
i should look to see the state of me
soaking my skin with my crimson blood
the thickness pours out of me like a flood
blood is so much thicker than my tears
should i hurt, or should they fear
i should go, disappear
fade into the atmosphere
-t♥
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
school
50 School Life Questions Survey from Quizopolis.com
Do you like school? - not really... too stressful
Are you a middle schooler, High Schooler, or in College? - high school, baby!
Do you have a lot of friends? - for the most part
What's your best subject? - definately engllish or art
What's your favorite subject? - graphics/computer art
When's your lunch time? - it changes every day...
Do you have recess? - no... i haven\'t had that for like 5 years lol
If so, what to you do at recess? - n/a
How many friends do you have? - counting will make me a nerd
Do you have a bf/gf? - no...
Do you like your teachers? - pretty much, yea
Have you ever been suspeded? - nope. almost, though
Expelled? - nope!
Been in trouble? - yes... all the time!!!
Are you in the choir? - no, used to be.
Do you drive to school? - not yet
What do you have for lunch? - usually 3 french fries and half a bottle of water.. or just a water bottle
Do your teachers like you? - i\'m not sure. i know that 2 of them do, they commended me on my good work and smile at me in the halls
What are you labeled as? (prep, goth, jock...) - there aren\'t really labels at my school bc of uniforms. they just call me loud and ugly and stupid and a dumb slut
Are you popular? - a lot of people know who i am... so maybe
Ever been embarrased in front of the whole class? - yes... last year in bio on valentine\'s day
If so, what happened? - i got a flower/valentine from a sophomore in the bio class w/ me (i was a freshman at the time) and my teacher (mr.mclaughlin) was also my homeroom teacher so he read it... nosy bastard. well he was teasing me and i\'m shy and the boy was also flirting. the worst part is, the whole valentine thing was fake and i knew that from the beginning so it just added to the mortification. fml
Do you like P.E.? - yea it\'s chill
Are you athletic? - kind of but i\'m kind of out of shape...
Do you do any clubs, sports, or any other after school activities? - no...
Straight A's? - i\'m failing...
Straight B's? - used to
Straight C's? - yea..
Something below those? - mhm... my mental health is in the pits right now and it\'s effecting my schoolwork bigtime
A mix of those? - yes.
Are you well liked? -
Ever been to the principles office? - yes quite a lot last year
Ever been bullied? - all my life
Picked on? - ditto
Beaten up? - emotionallly and physically
Are your friends popular? - no... well some of them
Do you have a bag or backpack? - both
Mechanical pencils or wooden? - mechanical. all the way
Ball Point or pointy pens? - pointy (sharpy pens)
Chalk or Dry Erase boards? - dry erase lmao chalk is too hard to deal with
Smartboards? - they\'re cool but get old fast
Are you in advanced classes? - honors french two and honors english. honors graphics aussi
Do you have a computer lab? - yea... huge macs with photoshop ♥
How's your football team (if you have one)? - winning!!
What's your least favorite subject? - history
Any teachers you hate? - deacon
Ever argued with a teacher? - yes, i\'m very oppinionated. when i have a point to get across, i fight for it
Teacher's pet? - definately not
Vandalized the school? - duh
Did you like this survey? Well, too bad you took it anyway!! :P - yes.
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/survey/6097/50-School-Life-Questions-Survey/
Do you like school? - not really... too stressful
Are you a middle schooler, High Schooler, or in College? - high school, baby!
Do you have a lot of friends? - for the most part
What's your best subject? - definately engllish or art
What's your favorite subject? - graphics/computer art
When's your lunch time? - it changes every day...
Do you have recess? - no... i haven\'t had that for like 5 years lol
If so, what to you do at recess? - n/a
How many friends do you have? - counting will make me a nerd
Do you have a bf/gf? - no...
Do you like your teachers? - pretty much, yea
Have you ever been suspeded? - nope. almost, though
Expelled? - nope!
Been in trouble? - yes... all the time!!!
Are you in the choir? - no, used to be.
Do you drive to school? - not yet
What do you have for lunch? - usually 3 french fries and half a bottle of water.. or just a water bottle
Do your teachers like you? - i\'m not sure. i know that 2 of them do, they commended me on my good work and smile at me in the halls
What are you labeled as? (prep, goth, jock...) - there aren\'t really labels at my school bc of uniforms. they just call me loud and ugly and stupid and a dumb slut
Are you popular? - a lot of people know who i am... so maybe
Ever been embarrased in front of the whole class? - yes... last year in bio on valentine\'s day
If so, what happened? - i got a flower/valentine from a sophomore in the bio class w/ me (i was a freshman at the time) and my teacher (mr.mclaughlin) was also my homeroom teacher so he read it... nosy bastard. well he was teasing me and i\'m shy and the boy was also flirting. the worst part is, the whole valentine thing was fake and i knew that from the beginning so it just added to the mortification. fml
Do you like P.E.? - yea it\'s chill
Are you athletic? - kind of but i\'m kind of out of shape...
Do you do any clubs, sports, or any other after school activities? - no...
Straight A's? - i\'m failing...
Straight B's? - used to
Straight C's? - yea..
Something below those? - mhm... my mental health is in the pits right now and it\'s effecting my schoolwork bigtime
A mix of those? - yes.
Are you well liked? -
Ever been to the principles office? - yes quite a lot last year
Ever been bullied? - all my life
Picked on? - ditto
Beaten up? - emotionallly and physically
Are your friends popular? - no... well some of them
Do you have a bag or backpack? - both
Mechanical pencils or wooden? - mechanical. all the way
Ball Point or pointy pens? - pointy (sharpy pens)
Chalk or Dry Erase boards? - dry erase lmao chalk is too hard to deal with
Smartboards? - they\'re cool but get old fast
Are you in advanced classes? - honors french two and honors english. honors graphics aussi
Do you have a computer lab? - yea... huge macs with photoshop ♥
How's your football team (if you have one)? - winning!!
What's your least favorite subject? - history
Any teachers you hate? - deacon
Ever argued with a teacher? - yes, i\'m very oppinionated. when i have a point to get across, i fight for it
Teacher's pet? - definately not
Vandalized the school? - duh
Did you like this survey? Well, too bad you took it anyway!! :P - yes.
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/survey/6097/50-School-Life-Questions-Survey/
halloween survey
Halloween Survey from Quizopolis.com
What are you going to be for Halloween this year? - something sexy
Will you be making your costume yourself? - probably
What was your best Halloween costume? - .....biker?
What was your worst Halloween costume? - ...angel with cardboard wings
Will you be having a Halloween party this year? - idts
How many houses will you trick or treat at? - a billion!
What is the best thing you have received when trick or treating? - 5 packs of really good gum!
What is the worst thing you have received when trick or treating? - graham crackers or those stupid pretzels shaped like pumpkins/bats
Have you ever performed a trick for not getting a treat? - yea i spit on someone and \"accidently\" knocked their jackolantern off their porch which led to it being smooshed (x
Have you ever watched scary movies at Halloween? - yea... who doesn\'t?
Do you get afraid during Halloween night? - i\'m kind of supersticious, so yes
What was your best Halloween memory? - going with the THEM squad... \'nough said... it\'s a secret (;
What was your worst Halloween memory? - not being able to trick or treat and staying home alone. i was freaked out!
Do you decorate your house for Halloween? - kind of...
How much candy do you buy to give out at Halloween? - none... lol it\'s a private street yo
What is your favorite Halloween monster? - vampire!!! (i liked them b4 the whole twilight shit)
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/halloween-survey.php
What are you going to be for Halloween this year? - something sexy
Will you be making your costume yourself? - probably
What was your best Halloween costume? - .....biker?
What was your worst Halloween costume? - ...angel with cardboard wings
Will you be having a Halloween party this year? - idts
How many houses will you trick or treat at? - a billion!
What is the best thing you have received when trick or treating? - 5 packs of really good gum!
What is the worst thing you have received when trick or treating? - graham crackers or those stupid pretzels shaped like pumpkins/bats
Have you ever performed a trick for not getting a treat? - yea i spit on someone and \"accidently\" knocked their jackolantern off their porch which led to it being smooshed (x
Have you ever watched scary movies at Halloween? - yea... who doesn\'t?
Do you get afraid during Halloween night? - i\'m kind of supersticious, so yes
What was your best Halloween memory? - going with the THEM squad... \'nough said... it\'s a secret (;
What was your worst Halloween memory? - not being able to trick or treat and staying home alone. i was freaked out!
Do you decorate your house for Halloween? - kind of...
How much candy do you buy to give out at Halloween? - none... lol it\'s a private street yo
What is your favorite Halloween monster? - vampire!!! (i liked them b4 the whole twilight shit)
Take This Survey at Quizopolis.com
http://www.quizopolis.com/halloween-survey.php
ur super prety n nice. y duz err1 hate u?
oh you know.... actually.... i don't even know... people hate my laugh... but, i don't laugh anymore so i don't know what people's deals are... it's getting old... and thanks you're so sweet ♥
i miss dan )x
i seriously wanted to go to ron a roll tonight. no lie. julez was there and all my friends. wtf?
i'm not sure about john anymore
andrew thinks i look mad all the time.... haha i think he's scared of me. now in the hallways, i'm going to dazzle him with a huge smile (x
my parents piss me off
big e tomorrow!!!! >.< excited!!!!
i'm such a mess.... i failed two tests in one week
quitting therapy
chad doesn't love me anymore
i have no one to talk to bc no one understands
i miss julez
i haven't kissed anyone in like a month. gawd what's going on!!?
i seriously wanted to go to ron a roll tonight. no lie. julez was there and all my friends. wtf?
i'm not sure about john anymore
andrew thinks i look mad all the time.... haha i think he's scared of me. now in the hallways, i'm going to dazzle him with a huge smile (x
my parents piss me off
big e tomorrow!!!! >.< excited!!!!
i'm such a mess.... i failed two tests in one week
quitting therapy
chad doesn't love me anymore
i have no one to talk to bc no one understands
i miss julez
i haven't kissed anyone in like a month. gawd what's going on!!?
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