Wow my mom says julia can't sleep over and she doesn't even have a legit excuse as to why not

Going shopping wooot inviting julez over, mom said yes as long as she has a ride

CALCULATRICE!!! < that's french for 'calculator'

^^^THIS IS SO UH-MAZING!!! we use these calcs in school so it's even funnier!! zoom in to read if you have 'poor' eyesight (;

fairy tale, by tatyana olegovna

so this guy asked me for a story, this is what i sent him:

ONCE UPON A TIME!!!

there was a peasant. and she wished she could go to the ball. turns out, she had a fairy god-mother. the fairy god-mother granted her wish and gave her some advice. the paesant and the prince fell in love at the ball. she is now a princess. the prince knocks her up....HARD....they fuck all night, the whole village can hear them, you know? she moans: "oh prince get it in! i can barely feel it!! i thought you were a man. what's wrong with you!? harder!!!" so he's just ramming his dick into her, all the way in, his balls are slapping against her pussy with every mighty thrust, he shoves the whole damn thing in her tight little pussy. she screams and of course there's a flood, i mean, he just DEVIRGINIZED the girl (this is their honey-moon and she had a promise ring) she cums all over him and the bed. he starts to lick her up and taste it. he thinks it's fabulous!! she blows him (basically "69") yeas so ig she ends up having a kid...lmao

THE END!!!

my phone works when i'm at home if i stand on the lower deck that comes off the sun room. john said he loves me wooot (: <3 he's cool, my new best friend.... lmao it was funny because i almost got him to jack off on the phone hahahaha i made up the best fairy tale. i'll make a different post on it though! lmao. my dreams were confusing last night. patrick was in them, and then julia... it's weird... and then a whole bunch of random shit that i don't even remember. it's my second night in a row that i've woken up at 5:15 in the AM... does that mean something? we were supposed to go shopping today, but of course...kristina ruined it by having one of her juvenille temper-tantrums. we came up with some fabulous nicknames though:

titty-tanya
vaginal-vica
and the best one
queef-kristina

^^^ totally hysterical!!!!