john's mad at me....i can tell....he's going to try to deny it....crying....silently....did you miss me?....oh yea, of course you didn't, no one reads you...i missed the comfort of my blog though....it's like being in my own head....not very comforting...well the thoughts aren't i guess....i saw both nick and josh today while golfing with my dad, i freaked out, i took nick's virginity and josh raped me....oh god...and before i left for cape cod i saw both of them....the weird part is, i was thinking about both of them today...nick got all his hair chopped off, he actually looked good, and well josh...josh is josh i guess. i still like him, it's funny, he said hi to me, he saw the emotion on my face, he said hi really nicely, like he was concerned about me, but nick was obnoxious, why did i ever love him? what ever, 8 oclock baby, empty house, new movie "wild child" phish food by ben&&jerry's, it's good to have alone time...