musings

yea so i stayed up all night last night because i couldn't get myself to fall asleep. thank thy Lord that my phone had service on the pillow next to me or i would've been scared out of my brains last night without knowing someone was there for me. i think i stayed up because of the whole arguement and shit that went on with john. he claims he wasn't lieing, but seriously, isn't withholding the truth the same thing as lieing.... YES!!!!  so yea, i had him look up the guy i like on fb and he got super jealous and pissed with me. the guy i like is fucking gorgeous, but him and i can't do anything too public because of the practically 5 year age gap (he had just turned 20 a few months ago) and i guess john is sick of listening to me ramble on about this guy. so yea, as i had always though, john is IN LOVE WITH ME and he didn't tell me, i ask him like a billion times every day if he is and he never said so. faggot. john, chad, and justin kept me company. justin told me he was going to bed and that was around 1oclock, chad fell asleep on me around 230 and john fell asleep in the time when i started to text chad around 1. o wait, chad fell asleep around 330 i think. john was pretty faithful though, he stayed up until i finally conked out at 530 this morn'

church was a drag, my had to wake me up around 915 and say that we were leaving in 15 minutes, but i did end up doing my makeup and hair super well in the 5 minutes it took me to get ready. i felt clausterphobic in church, though. my parents decided to sit in the middle (most crowded) area of the pews and there were people all around us. then some australian priest (that says he is 77 but i would've never guessed over 60) made a huge monologue that lasted 45 minutes, 15 minutes into mass. mass is about an hour long on average, and he was only technically halfway through mass.... so mass was 30 minutes over.... there were two really pretty (maybe 17 or 16 year old) girls sitting in front of my family and they kept looking at me like i was some kind of disease or something because i decided to wear purple-distressed-skinny jeans, a huge, knee-long gray sweatshirt, and my french tshirt with the gray stripes while they were both wearing pretty white 3/4 length sleeved cardigans over really gorgeous dresses. they had perfect hair and teeth and didn't even need makeup. i was so jealous. then a few rows up; there was this couple, some asian women with her 4 top/front teeth sticking way out and some short beefy blond guy she was with kept whispering. they were so intimate, it didn't even seem like they were in church, more like on a movie date of somesort. but WHATEVS...

after church we went to dunkin' donuts and i got two (plain) croissants and a (small) coffee coolatta with whipped cream. i guess that's all i have to say

today is going to be a boring day, my parents won't let me hang out with julia and i don't want to go to ron a roll alone because vica (again, no surprise) ditched me even after she promised (i should've known though, she always breaks her promises) that she'd come with me....

i'm still sort of upset with john.... 

chad is cool and says he has a crush on me again

alastair almost pissed his pants on the bizzarro roller coaster at six flags

julia says she still likes me and wants to hang out soon

kristina is trying to flirt with a 17 year old that doesn't like her back

vica ditched me for kaitlyn, whom she hung out with for a week straight (sleepovers and all)

i'm a lonely bitch with no one to talk to