one thing that i can't keep off my mind is the fact that he said that he would never hate me, that he'd always be attached and annoying. he said he'd never lie, but isn't it lieing if he won't tell me what even happened. i know i didn't mean much, that's why i burned it bc it seemed like a lie and a burden to have those words with me and being able to look at them and interpret them the way my mind would. it sucks bc whenever i'm happy, i think about him and become extremely sad again. is it stupid that i remember all the songs that he reccomended me? he probably told other girls the same ones. smother me makes me cry bc it reminds me so much of nick. my heart never lets go of anyone, my mind never releases its memories into the atmosphere, but instead, i torture myself with them until i can't stand the pain anymore and hurt myself to rid the thoughts. he probably never thinks about me.